Not Me Monday

Wanna have some fun??? Then you should join in the blog carnival created by MckMama. Check out her blog to see what she and others have not been doing this week.

I am not totally super psyched for my upcoming craft weekend. Thursday. Friday. Saturday. Three days of non-stop crafting. In preparation for this weekend, I did not visit Wal-Mart and make another fabric purchase. You know, just in case I don't have enough fabric as it is. And of course, the lady cutting the fabric did not ask, "Are you making more purses?" Shortly thereafter, another associate approached the table and asked the same question. Yes, the ladies at Wal-Mart know that I make purses. Usually I spend money at Wal-Mart, but this trip did not have a money-making opportunity. One of the associates did not approach me, asking, "Do you make purses for people? If I bought fabric, would you make me a couple?" Ummmm... sure!

Today she did not call me and I do not have orders for two purses!



My fish tank at school had stared at me long enough. It was time for a good cleaning! So, on Sunday while I was at school working on plans for the week, I decided to bite the bullet and get it done. Things were going remarkable well, as I scrubbed the tank, changed the filter, and drained the water. Wait a minute... something doesn't sound right. As I looked toward the sink, I did not see the water draining not into the sink, but rather onto the FLOOR! Oops! Fortunately I caught in quickly and not too much water soaked the floor.

And finally, the story you all my sister has been waiting for... the truth about my toe. It was a dark and stormy night... Okay, not really. It's not at all that glamorous. I was getting ready to head to bed. Just needed to put my socks in the laundry basket. The socks still on my feet, that is. No problem. I'll just slip them off and kick them into the laundry basket as I've done hundreds of times before. Right sock off and in basket. Success. Left sock off and... OUCH!



I did not bring my foot into full contact with the door jamb in my attempt to kick my sock into the laundry basket. Please take my advice and do not try this at home, or any other place for that matter.

So, another Monday has come and gone. Join the fun next week!

Not Me Monday

After the things that did not happen to me last week, I'm not sure I have the courage to write this post today. This blog carnival was created by MckMama. Check out her blog to read some other not-happenings this week.

Last week we did an "ocean" day, because we were on letter "O" for the week. I had seen an adorable art project. Kids color a scene with crayons, pressing hard on the crayons. Then you color over the entire picture with watercolor paint, giving the effect of an underwater scene. Well, how much fun is it to have to dip your paintbrush in those paint sets that have 8 colors, and the color is barely visible. So, I did not go against my better judgment and use liquid watercolor paint. Non-washable liquid watercolor, mind you. Because we have carpet in my preschool room (not sure of the thought process for that decision), I was worried that the kids would spill the paint and it would drip on the floor. So, I stayed at the table and got more paint on the brushes when the kids needed it. The project went well, and they turned out very cute. Wow, I can't believe we didn't spill anything, I thought, as I was cleaning up. I set the small container of paint on the counter and started cleaning the brushes. One brush done.... As I reached for the second brush, I did not hit the end of the brush and completely tip over the entire container. Liquid watercolor all over the counter. Non-washable liquid watercolor. Thankfully, I had diluted it with some water, so it was relatively easy to clean up. Note to self: Be careful when using liquid watercolor. The kids Miss Heather might make a mess!

Along with our ocean week, I filled the water table with "ocean water," seashells, and ocean animals. Since there isn't a drain in the table, I had to scoop the water out with a bucket, but toward the end, it was difficult to get any water in the bucket. I did not pick up the table and endeavor to blindly dump the water into the small sink in my classroom. When I say small, I mean 10 x 12 inches, roughly the size of a sheet of paper. Well, you can imagine where I'm going with this. I definitely did not spill water all down the cupboards and onto the floor. Yet another mess I did not have to clean up.

After the paint and water incidents, I figured I was about done with messes for the week. WRONG! Being the nice teacher that I am, I gave my students candy after class one morning, with strict instructions NOT to eat it before lunch. Class done. Jar on my desk. Students gone. Eat lunch. Move box on desk. CRASH! I did not move the box and sweep the candy jar, the one that I had place there no longer than an hour before, onto the floor, shattering it into thousands of microscopic pieces. After rescuing the candy from a sea of crystal, now for the unfriendly task of cleaning up the tiny glass pieces that covered my desk. No problem, I thought. I'll just sweep them into the garbage can. For lack of a broom nearby, I did not use the closest thing nearby... my hand. Wrong decision! Tiny glass shards embedded themselves into my fingers before I realized that my fingers were in pain. And then came the tiny drops of blood on the fingers that had made contact with the glass. Oh, what was I thinking?

At no time during this week did I scream in horror as my beloved Mylo had a near-death experience as he plummeted from the heights of the counter to the floor below. No worries, folks. Mylo is recovering nicely and is resting comfortably as we speak read.

Yesterday I made my weekly daily trip to Wal-Mart before heading to a Superbowl party. School supplies... check. Snacks for party... check. Eye drops for tired eyes... check. I paid for my items, exited the store, walked to the car, attempted to unlock the car. Oops, wrong key. Tried again. What in the world? Glanced up to realize I was not attempting to unlock someone else's car! With all the salt and dirt on the side of the car, it looked just like mine. After looking down the row, I saw my car two parking spaces away, calmly walked over, unlocked the right car, stored my treasures inside, put my embarrassed self inside, and drove away to the Superbowl party.

Speaking of the Superbowl, as I was talking to my sister Erin during my Wal-Mart excursion, I did not ask her, "Who is playing in the Superbowl anyway?"

Thus proving my true feelings about football.

Ahhhh, when does baseball start?

Not Me Monday

It's that wonderful day again... Monday! No, it doesn't just mean the end of the weekend, the start of another loooonnnnngggg workweek. It means it's time for "Not Me Monday!" If you're as excited as I am, check out MckMama's blog to read more.

It's been a pretty boring week for me, but I do have a couple things that were funny absolutely did not happen to me this week.

I'm getting busy with making purses now (check out my Etsy shop here), so I decided to get some more fleece before I run out. When I stepped up to the cutting counter at my local Wal-Mart store, the clerk did not say to me, "Are you still making purses?" Really, am I here that often that you know that? Oh, that is just sad!

The following day, after my Wal-Mart excursion, I received my shipment of fabric from my sister in KC... for the 6 purses that I am making. Knowing that I would need to buy the matching fabric before I cut them out, I headed to Wal-Mart again before going to "craft night" at church. Oh good, it's another lady this time. Since I only had 1 bolt of fabric, not 400, I felt my confidence rise as I waited to have the fabric cut. My hopes were soon dashed. Enter lady 2: "Are you making more purses?" Um.... no, I'm NOT making purses. As you can guess, I am not well-known at my Wal-Mart fabric department.

As I mentioned earlier, every month we have craft night at church for people to come work on scrapbooking, sewing, knitting, etc. Some ladies come just for fellowship--and snacks! My project for the night: cut out purses! For the first hour or so, there was only one other lady there, and she was concentrating very hard on sewing together a quilt, so I was in my own little world cutting out purses. My friend Sue arrived with a friend of hers and we were getting acquainted. (We figured out that she attended the same school I did, but after I graduated. She was actually a friend of my younger sister.) Anyway, in the course of the conversation, Anna asked where I work. My reply: I teach preschool at this church.

I was in the process of making another comment as she asked another question, and the timing was not the greatest. Her question: "Are you married?" My reply (which was meant for a comment on my previous statement about where I work): It's what I went to school for.

After realizing that she had asked another question as I was talking, it kinda came out like this...
"Are you married?"
"It's what I went to school for."
Oh my! We did not laugh about that one for a few minutes!


During my extremely concentrated, thoroughly focused time of cutting out fabric, there is absolutely no way that I mis-measured as I was cutting. Nope, I always follow that old saying Measure twice, cut once. Since that for sure did not happen, there is no way I could have done it twice, let along three times! Well, I did measure twice... It just wasn't on the same piece. You know what they say... Third Fourth time's the charm!

Not Me Monday

Ready for some hilarious, entertaining, all-around clean confession? Well, here it is. Be sure to check out MckMama's blog also (after you read mine).

After glancing at my last Not Me post, I did not realize that it's been a week since I last wrote. And at the end of my previous post, I was determined not to wait a whole week before I posted anything. Well, there you have it... it's been a week and no blog posts. Oh well, Maybe this week? Oh who am I kidding? It will probably be next Monday before I post anything. (If I say this now, you'll be surprised when I post something this week right?)

As I was leaving for school on Tuesday morning, I for sure did not hit a wheelbarrow that was taking up residence on the side of the driveway. Not a big problem, right? WRONG! The contents of said wheelbarrow? Definitely not rotting, rancid, soon-to-be-moonshine corn cobs that my parents had processed the day before. And me? I was almost late for school, so who got to pick them up? For sure not my mom! Thanks, Mom!

This past Wednesday was the first night of Cubbies at my church. Since I'm the director, I decided I better show up, but after my long day at preschool, I was tempted not to show up. Well, when 6:00 arrived, I must admit I was feeling fairly ready. The registration forms were photocopied, the tables arranged, crayons placed on the tables along with the paper. All we needed were kids. Boy, did we get them! In all my years as Cubbies director (I think this is my 8th year) I have never seen so many kids. They just kept coming out of the woodwork! When all was said and done and I did the final headcount, we did not, I repeat, we absolutely did NOT have 37 kids! And with 5 tables in the room, you can do the math to figure out how many each teacher was responsible for. Wow, what a night.

As I was working on my computer after Cubbies, I definitely did not fall asleep only to wake up a few hours later in the recliner. The time? It most certainly was not 3:00 a.m. Oh, it was hard going to bed knowing I had to be up in t 3 1/2 hours. Wow, what little children will do to take the energy out of you!

Last night after getting home from a Twins game, I did not remember that I had neglected to purchase a couple items that I needed in class today. My solution? I'll just get up early and stop at Wal-Mart on my way to school. Yep, that's what I decided to do, all right. Because it would be foolish to make a special trip to Wal-Mart when I could do it before school. Nope, I definitely did not drive to town at 10:00 p.m. to buy 6 apples, butter, and oatmeal, and then drive back home. I would never do something that dumb!

Well, that's about all for this week. I'll see you next week when I fill you in on what did not happen to me this week (unless I bless you with a surprise post sometime later this week!).

Not Me! Monday

Let the therapy begin... yes, it's time for Not Me! Monday once again. Go ahead, be honest, tell, everyone what you did not do this week. MckMama says it's okay to admit your shortcomings. Check out her confessions here.

This week, I did not not blog all week, because I was not busy doing other things, thus neglecting my random ramblings....

I absolutely, definitely, for sure did not stay up until 3:45 a.m. one day this past week. And if I did happen to do this once, I most definitely did not do it more than once, let alone three times! Nope, I am always asleep by 11:00 p.m. and up at 7:00 a.m.

If I made a habit of going to bed too late this week, I certainly would not have been working on purses for my internet store. I definitely did not finish 11 purses this week, bringing my total to 16! Here is a picture of what I did not accomplish this week.



After completing 16 purses, there is no way I would have cut out 9 more purses! No way! I'm not obsessed with making purses, just because I find cute fabric.

Once my online store was up and running, I did not check it several times a day to see if I had any messages or orders. Nope, this store will not be a time waster for me! If you'd like to add to my obsession, check out my store here: http://www.heathermariedesigns.etsy.com/ Go ahead, send me a message!

On the 4th of July, being the true American that I am, I definitely did not leave at 10:00 p.m. to see if I could see the fireworks. It was not me who hit EVERY red light in town, and when I got to the lake 15 minutes later, I was definitely not disappointed when the only brilliant lights I saw were the hundreds of boats that obviously were there on time to see what could have been a great show. But I'll never know, will I?

If you had been in the vicinity of Wal-Mart in Grand Rapids on Sunday, you definitely would not have seen me enter the store not once, or even twice, and for sure not three times. No, you must be mistaken. I would never go to Wal-Mart three times in one day

Well, maybe I'll have more time to blog this week, since the 11 purses are done and my online store is up and running... but wait! I just remembered... I have 9 more to make. Well, I'll talk to you sometime in the future! In the meantime, try your hand at Not Me! I guarantee you'll love it!

Not Me! Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

This is not going to be a Not Me! post filled with injury-related incidents. My activities this week have not been limited by the fact that I can't walk (very well, anyway). If you missed the complete story, read here.

I did not take a pain pill right before going to bed, only to read the instructions the following day... do not lie down for 30 minutes after taking this medication. OOPS!

This week, I was not known to hop out of the shower and put on a high heel... nope, not me! That would be an incredibly awful fashion statement.

I did not postpone trips to the bathroom because I knew my leg would hurt if I got up. I also did not calculate how long it would take me to get there.

A student at my school did not see my mom at church and say, "Did you know Miss Lutterman broke her intestine?" to which my mom replied, "No, it wasn't her intestine. It was a tendon."

Because I could not walk, I did not go to Wal-Mart with my mom have her escort me through the store in a wheelchair. It wasn't me who hoped I wouldn't see anyone I knew as we were shopping. (As it turns out, I only saw one person I knew.) Normally, I would not have gone under those circumstances, but I had to buy birthday presents. After all, an auntie can't show up at a party for her nieces and nephew without presents, right?

Since I'm only allowed 1-3 hours of walking or standing per day, I did not take my life into my hands and allow students with no driving skills to push me in the wheelchair. I was not pushed into the wall more than once.

We did not successfully pull off a surprise birthday party for my sister Becky on her "29th" birthday.

I am not totally excited for Dancing with the Stars tonight, especially since my sister Erin told me Melissa from The Bachelor would be on the show!

Hopefully I'll have a week filled with activities other than injury-related stories, but I'm afraid that will be my life for a while. Physical therapy starts tomorrow... YIKES!