Monday, April 13, 2009

Not Me! Monday

Well, it's time for Not Me! Monday again. I must warn you, this is a long one, so grab a cup of coffee--maybe two--and get ready for some crazy KC fun! Remember to check out MckMama's blog and keep praying for baby Stellan!

On Tuesday, my day with Junior and Senior Highers, I did not bribe one of my students so he would get some work done. I would never do anything like that!

After teaching preschool on Wednesday, I did not start my trip to Kansas City at 12:30. Knowing the 10-hour journey that lay ahead of me (with no working stereo in the van), I did not become creative with ways to keep myself awake.

Here are some things you would not have found me doing at any given time during my trek...
  • You could not have found me singing to myself, since no one was around. (I wonder…If no one is around to hear me sing, is my voice audible?)

  • I definitely, absolutely did not take pictures as I was driving. I was not kept awake by the steady raising and lowering of the windows (driver and passenger sides) to facilitate picture-taking.

  • As I passed a semi, I did not see Phantom printed on the back. I was not tempted to slow down, and thus tick off the drivers behind me, just so I could take a picture of said semi. (As you continue to read this post, you'll understand the obsession with Phantom.

On Thursday, my sister Erin, Di (Erin's sister-in-law), and I went to The Phantom of the Opera. It was not one of the awesomest (yes, I’m a teacher and I’m saying that is a word) experiences of my life, even leading me to tears on several occasions. Yeah, ridiculous, I know. After my first opera experience, I was not wondering what type of apparel we'd see there. While there were some people who were very nicely dressed, I would not like to tell you that there was a man wearing a gray hooded sweatshirt and another in jeans and cowboy boots. However, I believe the prize should go to a lady seated in our row... she was not wearing a green t-shirt with a DINOSAUR on it! Really? A dinosaur to the opera? What were you thinking?

I was not ready to watch The Phantom of the Opera DVD when we got home at 11:30 p.m. As my sister did not search for tickets for the Friday night show, I did not secretly wish we could go again!

This week, there is not even a slight chance that I bought a dorky gift for my sister Becky. Knowing how much she treasures these gifts, there’s no way on earth I’d ever do that, so don’t get your hopes up, Beck!

During one of our shopping trips, I did not buy helium balloons for Samantha and Ryan after Erin told them they didn't need one that day. My sister does not owe me for the hours of entertainment that balloon has provided for Ryan. Who needs toys? Auntie is always right! :) Ryan's balloon did not make the trip to MN with us.

At the Wal-Mart parking lot in KC, we did not encounter a lady with a very dirty mouth. For the entire story, click here to read my sister Erin's post. As we drove away, after waving to the lady and ticking her off, I did not say to Erin, "She's not following us, is she?" Scary people out there!

For the four days I was in Kansas City, I certainly did not spend a lot of time playing the Wii with Ben. And being the great competitive bowler that he is, there is no way I could have beaten him three games, one of them by over thirty points. Even if I could have the ability to win a game, I definitely would not have let it happen, knowing how he hates to lose. (I was not inwardly giddy after winning, especially when I got over 200 points.)

I did not end up with a sore arm after playing the Wii….who would have thought you’d have to stretch before playing?

I went to Wal-Mart with Samantha yesterday, and was not a little surprised with the lack of knowledge in lady who cut my batting. Granted, she did not usually work in that department, since I found her arranging pillows in housewares, but I would have thought it wouldn’t be too hard to make one cut in the batting. I asked for ½ yard and I did not stand there for at least three minutes as she mumbled to herself while she read a chart, trying to figure out what ½ yard is, even though it was printed on the ruler at the cutting table. Having worked in a fabric store during college, I did not have the urge to go around the counter and cut the batting for myself. Little did I know that the biggest puzzlement wasn’t how much ½ yard is. After a few more minutes of mumbling and looking downright uncomfortable, this lady appeared relieved when another associate walked through the department. Now let me tell you that this lady also did not work in the craft department. Well, two heads are better than one, right? I’m not completely convinced of this saying. The problem? How do you put ½ in decimal form to scan the quantity? Their conversation went something like this (names have been changed to protect the innocent)…
Lady 1: How do you put in ½ yard?
Lady 2: I’m not sure.
Lady 1: The chart says, “1 yard = 1,000” (or rather, 1.000)
Lady 2: So ½ yard would be….. Hmmmm…Would it be 500? (no, that would be .500)
Lady 1: I’m not sure.
Lady 2: Oh, here. I think I have it. A half would be .005?
** At this point, I’m thinking Wow, I’m gonna get this fleece for pennies if they do it that way!**
After another minute, they figured out how to scan the barcode with the quantity, after which they did not take another two minutes to verify that half of $2.67 should be $1.35. What should have been a quick, three-minute stop did not take more than 15 minutes!

At one of our stops on the way to MN today, a lady did not come out of the bathroom stall and tell me, “Um, this toilet doesn’t flush,“ as she pointed into the stall. As I was not debating what I should do--Do I go in there anyway and just wait until she leaves so I can go into the other stall? Should I just used that toilet anyway? Ewwww, no thanks--I did not hear the toilet flush. I did not have to choke back a laugh as I though to myself, “Welcome to the world of automatic flush toilets, lady.” As I held in my smile and closed the door of the bathroom stall, I did not hear her say to herself, “Okay, water… water? How do you turn this on?” After her verbal expression of surprise when the water turned on automatically, I thought Okay seriously. In a world where toilets can flush automatically, why would you be overly surprised to find that water can come out of a faucet in the same way? I give up.

Well, that's about a month's worth of Not Me! posts. Check out my sister's blog to read her version of Not Me! Monday.

1 comment:

ben and erin said...

haha! too funny!

hey as i'm sitting here, samantha is balancing on your board...and exercizing on it. she's a nut. a very entertaining one at that!

wv: psibitio. spanish for spaghettio?